I truly miss you love. I hate to start my sentences with an I, it looks and sounds very ugly I think, but there is gonna be lots of that in this text, forgive me dear.
So I came to realize that even though I have been chasing you for days now, running around in cercles telling you how bad ‘I’ feel, how sick ‘I’ am, and how unfair this was to the ‘I’ -again. It was silly to keep blaming the you of everything happening, for daring and being able to cause such a pain and horror. But have I once told you what is it that hurts so bad? Have I told you how much I care, and how much this is hard on me because of what I feel for you?
I have not.
So here it is my love, I am prepared to stand up, find my guts, put my pride on the side, sit here and write you this. write you everything I feel for you, and everything I miss about you, and about us.
The thing is, I played hard to get out of distrust in the start, out of guard, hiding behind the fender of carelessness. I acted foolishly with you. It was a ridiculous thing to do having someone who cares so much, and needless to say I cared widely likewise.
I did tell you many time that I loved you. I did. But what I kept from you, and most certainly from myself also, was that I am fully in love with you my lovely. You were -and are- the most precious in between all this pother.
This quarrel has been hell on me, and there is no way this means anything other than I am all tied up to you, all into you, and my mind is running wild thinking of any way or anything I can do to go back to the last time I saw you.
I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t had gone, leaving you behind, especially not with another man.
I should have stayed, and gone out on that date we’ve been planning for so long, I should have stayed up all night with you, and told you all this, if only I knew…
I should have made you breakfast in bed, had a lazy Sunday with you in bed, played and talked about everything, and especially laughed about everything because, GOD, we have so much fun together, everything makes us laugh, and your jokes would still be making me tear up in laughter.
Mon amour, think again, please, try and remember everything we shared until the mistake you had done, which lead to the mistakes I made. You owe it to yourself. Think of how handsome we are hand-in-hand outside, walking around the city, wandering the same old streets wearing a smile and calm. Peaceful, that’s what we are together.
Without you I am no longer serene and calm. I no longer know what I want to do, to eat and say.
You are my best friend. My best-est friend. And I need you, not selfishly, I promise. I need you to make an ‘us’. To make you feel as good and as placid as you always get around me. I need you, to take care of you. To love you, to forgive you and protect you. I need you because I love you, and it is a tremendous dullness for this love to go to waste. It would be outrageous.
I despise every moment I live far from you my love. With time my shedding will become grief and my grief will get icy and my love will die. And that is the last thing I wish for.
Please give me a chance, give yourself a chance to be happy, to be different, to be the person you loved to be when we are together. Give the ‘us’, a chance.