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Dear Meat
12394 Charles St.
La Plata MD, 20646


Dear Best Friend,

     I saw your mom at the work picnic my mom was invited to also. She said you were out with your friends. Then I realized, this is it, huh?

     Ever since we graduated and started our lives in our new schools, I’ve tried my best to keep our friendship steady. Of course I realize that you would make new friends at your new school, but I didn’t realize you would come so close to forgetting about me so soon. Or at least it seems like it.

     Strike 1. I arrange a small get-together with just you, me, and our other friend. She couldn’t make it in time because her ride broke down. But you couldn’t make it in time because you were with your new friends. At least she called. I told the both of you that it was too late; I told her when she called. I had to text you. The next time we saw each other after that, you said you got too lazy to call or text me.

     Strike 2. We were hanging out at your house while I try to plan out how we’re going to hang out over Spring Break. I tell you that you can come over Thursday, and that I was having a movie party Friday. You said you were going to ask your mom once she woke up. Comes Thursday morning and I called your house to make sure if you were going. Your mom answers the phone and tells me, “She never asked me”. In the end, you never came in on both days.

     I just can’t wait to see Strike 3. Look, I don’t know your side of this story because it’s not like we talk anymore. But I hope you read this and understand who it’s from and that this is to you.

Love (?),
Your Best Friend
…well, if I still am.

Dear Summer,

The smell of you elates me because it fills me with hope and happiness that the world is a little bit brighter. College is over, so I no longer have to stress about juggling school, work, and a social life all at the same time.

You’re a time for new beginnings. The boy that left me and broke me says he still loves me and wants me back, and it’s really hard to resist to be quite honest. However, I’ve got my eye on somebody else that allows so much room for possibility and good things to come.

I don’t think I’ve ever been excited to see you, ever in my life. With all the pollen, work being insane, and my room being an oven because my parents won’t turn the AC on, & I normally miss school. This time is different though. My allergies have improved, I love my job, I have an amazing window fan, & I’m tired of school.

So many possibilities and things to do, with nobody to worry about but myself for once. I absolutely can’t wait.


Trying to be Optimistic

Dear College,

Why did you have to end so soon? April 30 came way too soon, and I hate you for making me move all of my stuff out and for making it so that I will not see anyone for four months. You really suck. September 5 can’t come soon enough.

a brand-new sophomore

Dear Dad,

Please, for not only my sake but for everyone else, stop stealing my shoes off my feet when you walk up the stairs&i’m on the computer.
It is so annoying, I cannot even begin to describe the ANNOYANCE you provide me.

Please stop, before I explode in a fury of fists to your body.


Dear Nightmares,

I know why you’re here and I’m asking you to stop. I’ve gotten so used to sleeping with someone else, you come when i’m alone. You always come when he’s not sleeping in my bed. You come with these images of who else he might be sleeping in the bed of. I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because of YOU. I hate it. I can deal with my deal with him when I’m awake, not think about it, not worry about it, keep that barbed wire fence around my heart just to keep him out. But i have no control when I’m asleep, and you know that. You haunt me, you make HER haunt…I know i could ask him where he slept and he would tell me the truth, he’d get mad at me for being accusatory and if I hear what I’m very afraid I might hear I’ll be back in the funk i was in a few weeks ago all over again. And then you’ll never stop. He and I are just friends, he’s made that clear to me with his words…his actions are what keeps me hanging on to the hope that we could be more. His absence from my bed is the reason you’re coming and he doesn’t even know it. When I’m awake he holds my hand, he kisses me in front of everyone, he sleeps in my bed, he’s seen me naked more than anyone else ever has. When he’s holding me all night you never dare to come.  I can’t make him want more than just fucking and cuddling sometimes from me, see me as more than what it is right now…and sooner or later I’ll stop hoping you he changes his mind. I just need the nightmares to stop.

Pathetic Co-Dependent

Dear Single Guys,

I am taken, this much I will say. I have no desire to leave my boyfriend, I’m very happy with him.

However, I still like to know that I’m still at least somewhat attractive to you… but I don’t get that. I’m a feminist, but it doesn’t mean I don’t get a certain thrill from an occasional cat call. I thought you were supposed to get more attractive when you’re in a relationship… nope, even when I dress my best and carry myself with confidence, I don’t know if I even get a second glance. What is it? Am I too racially-ambiguous? Does a woman need to bare cleavage and wear Daisy Dukes to be noticed, rather than be sexy in a subtler outfit? Do I not have that ideal Hollywood face and body? Are that many of today’s young men so intimidated by a woman who knows who she is and what she wants?

I don’t mind stepping up to the plate in the dating game, never did, but it got tiring when I had to do it all the time. I thought I was a dream come true for most guys - a female who can dig video games, can just as easily be “one of the boys” as dress to kill on Saturday night, loves big dogs and potty humor, doesn’t care if you like porn (in fact I have a collection of my own), looks forward to sex, will jam along to your collection of heavy metal, and isn’t afraid to fix (and/or eat!) good food.

These have all come naturally to me, they’re never forced, so you can take me or leave me… yet with all of this in mind, why have so few of you been “takers”? Is it true that while you talk of that one lady who comes along and admires your epic computer setup, or doesn’t think belching contests are gross… you still secretly want that uptight, ultra-feminine, shallow girl who looks like a Playboy pin-up and thrives on drama? Am I too much of a friend to be seen as a potential girlfriend?

Do you know how to tell a girl from a woman?

-Tomboy with a Twist

dear you,

i love you
i like you
i want to experience you through your poetry and your yellow hair

i want to spend a day at the bookstore with you and let you ramble on about
what authors you used to read when you were a kid and now that you’re older you’ve
found new meaning in their work

you’ll spill my coffee on yourself and you’ll scramble to grab your sweatshirt from the
back of your chair and i’ll take your hand and kiss you
and you’ll be lost in the moment and forget

i love you
i like you
i dont even know you


Dear German Foreign Exchange Student,

You may not know who I am, but we sit completely across from each other on different sides of the room during our Painting class. I think I saw you giggling at me today chewing on my jacket while reading. You see, since you first arrived at our school I’ve had a tiny, itty-bitty, crush on you. Everything you say with that thick German accent is like candy to my ears. I could sit across from you every dinner listening to you describe your day.

Du bist verdammt heiß.
The Kid

Dear Flash Drive,

I used to love you. You saved my ass after my laptop broke last semester. You were my hero. Until you decided you were going to corrupt yourself for no apparent reason. In fact, you decided to corrupt yourself so well that the HEAD of computer services said he had never seen anything like it before. Hearing those words confirmed my fear that I would never have you in my life again…or the entire year’s worth of papers that I had written since your arrival in my life. Things were going so great, why did you have to mess it up?

Lots of hatred,

Flash Drive-less College Student


Dear College,

I hate you. Actually, I hate your process. I cringe at the cost of applying to see if you’ll accept me. I spit at your prices. I glare at your lack of financial aid for those who mentally and desireably deserve it. My heart burns with anger that an amazing resume will only get me accepted, not approval from my mother.
But college, I so desperately want to take you in my arms and cradle the future knowledge you hold for me. I want to embrace you openly and feel comfort within your classroms. I want to feel at home in your lecture halls. I want to make love to your curriculum, the reason that I actually picked you above all the others.
Love has never been enough. Most divorces are caused by money problems. The government’s misjudgement of my financial need to be happy with you has kept away divorce, only because it refuses to let us begin.
The girl who hoped to be your prospective student.

Dear Robert,

    I don’t even want to think about how long it’s been since I said your name, or even let you pop into my mind without screaming ‘STOP IT!”. I wish you knew how much it hurt, just seeing you and hearing your name. I wish you could just understand me, I wish you had the chance to understand me. I want nothing more than to hurt you, I want you to feel what I have to deal with everyday. Nothing is the same anymore. My life used to be filled with bright bubbles full of happiness, I used to be so whimsical and life was effortless. Now life is full of annoying people that make me want nothing more than to kill myself, or to just have you. I’m not happy anymore. The moment I saw you was the moment my life was drained of all things good. The only satisfaction I get now, is seeing the pain cross your face when you see me with another guy. Do you have any idea how great that makes me feel? I feel empowered, like i can do anything. But then i realize that all i really want is you.
    If this is love, it’s the absolute worst thing I’ve ever encountered, i want to just rip my heart out. Pessimistic me, always talking about only the worst things. I don’t even know anymore, i don’t know what to say from here on. I guess all i can say is that ,Robert, i love you. i love you so much i’m scared to be around you because i don’t know how i’ll act. No one could possibly understand how i could love you because i don’t even know you at all anymore. I don’t even know. I swear to god i can’t possibly love you, it just can’t be possible. And i can’t talk about you in this context to any of my friends because they just don’t understand. They don’t understand what it’s like to love someone. yes, they say they “love” some guy. But until they feel how i feel about you, they won’t want to love someone. Because until I loved you, I was so happy. I don’t want to love you, I wish I could go a fucking day without thinking about you. God i wish i was happy. Because until You, there was a Me, there was a Holly. Now there is no me without you, there is nothing without you. We should fucking be together, but i don’t know if i really want that.

I can’t wait for the satisfaction of finding someone who loves me enough to show it.
I sure as hell hope you are happy, i don’t want you to have to feel what i do.

i love you.


Dear Organic Chem,

Please Take Your Organic Molecules And Die. Or Just Perform An Elimination Reaction Since That’s All You Seem To Be Good For. Either Way Get Out Of My Life.

Please and Thank You,
An Organic Chem Student With A Grudge